THE ADOPTED BASTARD FISH

The Adopted Bastard Fish, reminiscent of the children's book The Rainbow Fish, was inspired by a conversation with adoptee/birthmother Debbie Keegan in which she facetiously said she was proud that she had one to throw back into the pond.

I am a Bastard Fish.

I was spawned without "Benefit of Clergy" and never knew my real identity. I was bought by my adoptive parents and placed in their tank so that they and their friends and relatives could see me shimmer and shine. You see my scales were bright gold and reflected brilliant bands of golden sunlight throughout the tank.

But then I started to ask questions. Questions like, Who am I?, What did I do wrong?, Why was I given away?, and Where is my original birth certificate?

It was then that I noticed my scales began to dim, my adoptive parents didn't want to look at me anymore, and their friends stopped coming over to admire me. I didn't understand what was happening and in a desperate attempt to find the truth, I demanded my original birth certificate.

The tank became very dim and I realized my bright golden scales had turned into pale mustard colored imitations of themselves. In disgust, my adoptive parents scooped me up and flushed me down the toilet.

As I slid through the sewer pipe I began to see a bright light. I followed the light and heard the melodious murmur of uncountable Bastard Fish singing to me.

"Come home, come home little Bastard Fish! Come home to our Bastard Nation."

It was then that my eyes were opened and I could see clearly for the first time. All around me were Bastard Fish and I knew who they were: some were sharks, some were rainbow trout, some were sailfish, and some were bottom feeders.

It was then that I saw another group of fish with black, ulcerated, and flaking scales floundering this way and that in agony. At first I couldn't recognize them but slowly realized they were also Bastard Fish. But what had happened to them? They carried signs saying, "I am not a Bastard Fish" and "NCFA Forever."

Then I understood. They were Bastard Fish who had denied their bastardy and could never shine again.

I was now surrounded by multitudinous Bastard Fish with bright golden scales. As they lifted me high in welcome, I looked down at myself and in amazement saw that my bright golden iridescently brilliant scales had returned. And then the most miraculous thing happened. As I looked into the eyes of the Bastard Fish of Bastard Nation, for the first time, I really know who I am.

I am a Bastard fish!